thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I want to walk on stilts...naked
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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