I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
