He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
