I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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