whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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