Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
