Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
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