I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
