I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Boobs are out for the taking
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
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