i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
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