Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize