yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
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