fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Everyone says I win the strip club
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
