her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
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