yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize