I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
