David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I stole a fireplace last night.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize