with your own penis?
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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