WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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