if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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