if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
