I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
