Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Randomize
