you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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