I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
