Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
True college students do jello shots in the library
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
