Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
