i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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