Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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