She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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