I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
