i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
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