Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Randomize
