recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
