Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
