I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
