ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
