I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
