tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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