We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
