he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize
