Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
