You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Randomize