Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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