Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
