Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
