do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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