Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize