Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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