im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
