I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
accomplished twins. life is a go
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize