I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
