I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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