But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
