I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
