you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Randomize
