i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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