Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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